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Continuing our discuss from part four, before concluding his email message to me, this young man did honestly admit that there was a degree of selfishness involved which influenced their decision to not have any children. I must concur with that thought. I felt that the fact that he would even tell me this, was a clear indication that the Lord had already begun working in his heart. There was definitely some selfishness in this decision, and I could not help but wonder if perhaps this couple had been affected to some degree by the same selfish spirit which is prevalent in many worldly marriages. This is something they will definitely have to pray about.

My friend also stated that while he felt that he could trust the Lord regarding this matter, his wife had expressed to him that she did not have the same level of faith. In my opinion, this is a major problem. Because she couldn't trust the Lord as she should, believing that He knows what would be best for them, she wanted to take matters into her own hands by taking birth control pills, and thus control her own future. I have already discussed this topic in-depth earlier in this series, so I will not belabor the point. What it really comes down to is one simple verse which I have shared with my readers many times before. Allow me to share this wonderful verse with you once again:

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."


Does Paul say that "some things work together for good"? No! Paul writes "all things work together for good". The primary issue here seems to be how much this couple was willing to submit themselves to the Lord on the altar of His sacrifice, by fully yielding both their spirits, their bodies and their lives to Him. How much were they really willing to cast themselves into His Hands by faith completely, trusting and knowing that as their Heavenly Father who loves them dearly, He would not do anything or allow anything to happen to them, which wasn't a part of His plan, and which would ultimately be to their own benefit; even if they didn't understand it at the time? In the Book of Isaiah, the Prophet wrote as follows:

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."


So basically, the question was whether this couple wanted to do things God's way or their own way. Did they want to do His Will or their will? Were they willing to trust God for their future, or would they take matters into their own hands and try to control the situation? To be honest, these are really questions which we must all continually ask ourselves, right? Who is really in control of our lives? Who is steering our ship?

This man concluded his message by stating that "it seems that God leaves marriage up to us." I agree. For the most part, God does leave the issue of marriage up to us. As I point out in the article entitled "Free Will and Personal Choice", the Lord does leave it up to us to make the right decisions in our own lives. However, allow me to add once again that we must also strive to make certain that our decisions are in accordance with His Will, particularly the major decisions.

Believe me; I can tell you all about what happens when you make the wrong decisions, particularly those which deal with marriage, but I will spare you. Quite often, it is through making the wrong decisions, that we grow in wisdom, as well as in our submissiveness to the Lord. After one has made enough serious blunders in his life, he begins to realize that maybe "Father Knows Best"! Making mistakes also helps to keep us humble before the Lord.

If there is any advice that I would personally offer to a Christian brother or sister who is contemplating marriage, aside from the old standby of "make sure you really love them", it would have to be, make sure that your potential marriage partner is a God-fearing Christian. If you fail to follow this wise advice, don't be surprised if someday you live to regret it. For example, consider if children begin to come along, and you want to raise them in the fear and knowledge of the Lord, while your spouse opposes this. The sparks will begin to fly, and you will find yourself in a big mess! As the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthian brethren:

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"


When the Lord told the Israelites of the Old Testament not to marry the heathen, it was for a very good reason. He knew exactly what would happen if they did. Not only would it result in genetic corruption, but more importantly, it would result in spiritual corruption and apostasy. Despite God's warnings, as I explain in articles such as the series "The Fruits of Disobedience", those foolish Israelites failed to heed the Lord's warnings, and they ended up paying a dear price for their disobedience.

In similar fashion, if you take an interest in someone who readily admits that they don't share your Christian beliefs, and that they have zero intentions of ever accepting your faith, do NOT view them as a potential marriage partner. In fact, walk away quickly! I don't care how much you feel you are in love with them, or how hot sexually you are for them! You better drop them like a hot potato, or else they might just end up making your life miserable, and as hot as hell!

As you may know, the Apostle Paul likewise had to deal with this problem. However, back then, the situation was a little different. You see, the Christian faith was young, and the word regarding Jesus Christ was just beginning to get around. Because of this fact, when many people came to Christ, they were ALREADY married, and in some cases, the other spouse had no interest in becoming a part of the new movement. It was under these conditions that Paul wrote the following:

"But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches."


Let me emphasize again, that Paul is giving advice to people who were ALREADY married when they came to know Christ. You will also notice that he is telling his readers that this is not "Thus saith the Lord". In other words, Paul is offering his personal opinion regarding such matters. Furthermore, he is NOT saying to go out and marry a heathen, with the hope that maybe later you can win them to Christ. While that is possible, as Paul even states above, that is not what he is advocating here. In fact, as I point out in other articles, after the Israelites returned to Jerusalem following the Seventy Years of Captivity in Babylon, they brought many heathen wives with them. These wives had seriously polluted their faith, as well as their genetic heritage. During a great moment of repentance, notice what happened under the leadership of such men as Ezra and Nehemiah:

"And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, answered and said unto Ezra, We have trespassed against our God, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land: yet now there is hope in Israel concerning this thing. Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law . . . And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have transgressed, and have taken strange wives, to increase the trespass of Israel. Now therefore make confession unto the LORD God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives. Then all the congregation answered and said with a loud voice, As thou hast said, so must we do."


Do you see what those Israelites did? They resolutely made the decision to align their will with God's Will by putting away their heathen wives. They put God's Will above their own will. This must have been a very hard decision for them. After all, some of those men were no doubt really in love with their wives. Yet despite that fact, pleasing the Lord had to come first in their lives.

This very same principle applies to the lives of Christians today. Whether we are discussing marriage, or childbirth, or any other issue, God's Will must be supreme in our lives. To reiterate this point, as with many other things in this life, God does allow us to make our own choices when it comes to marriage. However, if we are wise, and if we truly love Him, we will do our best to try to find a mate who is God-fearing, and who will be pleasing in His sight.

While this decision-making applies to marriage, as of this current time, I have not found anything in the Scriptures which even remotely suggests that God has placed it in our hands to decide whether or not to have children. Nowhere have I found any kind of instructions which give us this authority. The Scriptures plainly state that children are a blessing and "an heritage of the Lord", and nowhere are we told to prohibit, or to try to control their conception or birth.

On a final note, let me say that I cannot decide God's Will for anyone. All I can do is share the Scriptures with you, and offer what I believe are the general rules of conduct for God's worldwide family. I cannot have faith for you. You must have faith for yourself, and operate accordingly. As the Apostle Paul wrote, you must be fully persuaded in your own mind regarding the Will of God for your life, because you alone will be held accountable for your actions in this life. Consider the following two verses:

"One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind."


"For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad."


Are you doing good things in your body as Paul states? Or are you going against the Lord's ordained laws regarding childbirth? For those of you who may possibly feel a little uneasy around children, or who worry that you might not make good parents, let me just say this: Please give God a chance to work. Let go of Satan's fears, and grab on to faith. For as the Apostle Paul likewise wrote:

"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."


If you accept His Will by faith, you won't be disappointed. If He chooses to reward you with a pregnancy, praise God! Please remember that "the fruit of the womb is His reward". Believe me; once that new creation begins to form in your womb, God is going to begin to work on your heart. As each day, week and month passes, a bond is going to begin to form between you and that child. Furthermore, once that child is born, you are going to fall in love with him or her, and your natural God-given parental instincts will automatically kick in.

You might even feel a little ashamed and ask yourself, "How could I ever not have wanted this? What was I thinking?" That child will then reward you by bringing many moments of joy into your life. As he or she grows up knowing the Lord, you will feel a certain satisfaction in your heart; and someday, you will be able to say "Here Lord; you made me a steward over this child, and this is what I have done with her". So again, please step out by faith and give God a chance to work, won't you?

With these thoughts, I will bring this article to a close. It is my hope that you have found it informative, enlightening, and I pray that it has been a blessing in your life as well. If you have an account with Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr or with any other social network, I would really appreciate if you'd take the time to click or tap on the corresponding link that is found on this page. Thanks so much, and may God bless you abundantly!

For additional information and further study, you may want to refer to the list of reading resources below which were either mentioned in this article, or which contain topics which are related to this article. All of these articles are likewise located on the Bill's Bible Basics web server. To read these articles, simply click or tap on any link you see below.

Abortion: The Slaughter of the Innocent
Are You Crucified With Christ?
Free Will and Personal Choice
Lies and Deceptions of the Roman Catholic Church
Mary Worship, Christianity and Roman Catholicism
Murdering Millions by Mail: The Abortion Controversy
Queen James Bible: Blasphemous Abomination Exposed!
Rise of the False Church
Roman Catholicism, Water Baptism and the Holy Trinity
Science and Technology: The Forbidden Knowledge?
So You Really Think You Are So Humble?
The Fruits of Disobedience
The Gay and Lesbian Agenda: To the Point!
The Plight of the Children: School Gun Violence!
What Is God's Will For My Life?
When Sin is No Longer a Sin

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