Stop Cussing!
Be Not Conformed to This World!
Part 1

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Authored By  :
Bill Kochman

Published On :
December 5, 2012

Last Updated :
December 5, 2012

NOTE: This article or series has not been updated recently. As such, it may possibly contain some outdated information, and/or ideas and beliefs which I no longer embrace, or which have changed to some degree.

Pervasiveness Of F-Bomb And Cussing, Hollywood's Romance With F-Bomb, Out Of The Mouth Of Babes, Train Up A Child, Changing Social Attitudes, Run Like An Army, My Mom The Disciplinarian, Biblical Counsel Concerning Child Discipline, My Childhood, My Roman Catholic Upbringing, My Good News for Modern Man NT, Backslidden And Cussing At Forty, On The Job Peer Pressure, Be Not Conformed To This World, Changed By Work Environment, My Compromise, The Children Of Light And Lights In The World, My Dislike For F-Bomb, My Use Of Expletives, Paul And Dung, Offensive Crap And God's Unorthodox Methods, Be Sensitive But Don't Compromise Message, Lukewarm Spiritually-Dead Churches, My Writing Modus Operandi, Listen To The Voice Of The Spirit, Ye Cannot Bear Them Now, Quench Not The Spirit, Some People Will Be Offended No Matter How Softly We Preach, Spiritually Blind Children Of The World, Satan Is The Father Of Lies

The so-called "f-bomb". Are you sick and tired of hearing it yet? That four-letter, filthy, offensive, ugly word seems to be just about everywhere these days. We hear it constantly in our place of work at the water cooler or perhaps in the lunch room. It is constantly repeated in schoolyards throughout the nation. It has firmly lodged itself in millions of books and magazines. It is heard everywhere on our city streets. It has even invaded the sanctity of our homes. It blares out from the television set and the radio, from CD players, from iPods, iPads and iPhones, and from laptop and desktop computers.

Then, of course, there is Hollywood, which I personally prefer to refer to as unHolywood. The f-bomb is clearly their little darling. It literally seems like script writers, directors, actors and producers are in a contest with each other to see how far they can go to shock the public, by fitting as many occurrences of that disgusting little word in a two-hour movie as possible. It is tragic. Who cares about a decent plot. As long as the film shocks, and earns a huge profit, Hollywood is happy. God help us!

Tragically, and alarmingly so, the f-bomb and similar ugly words are even coming out of the mouths of some very young children who should never ever be caught expressing such things; and yet it happens all the time. I have heard it on occasions, and it shocks me, and it makes me wonder about their parents. The Scriptures teach us the following:

"Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger."
Psalm 8:2, KJV

"And said unto him, Hearest thou what these say? And Jesus saith unto them, Yea; have ye never read, Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise?"
Matthew 21:16, KJV

What has happened to us? How have we gone so low, that even young children have become offensive, cookie-cutter images of their own foul-mouthed parents? In the Book of Proverbs we find the following wise counsel:

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it"
Proverbs 22:6, KJV

Clearly, in many cases -- but not always -- the blame lies with the parents. Perhaps those parents were in turn shaped by their own parents who also cussed a lot. Whatever the case may be, some parents -- and I would even dare say many parents -- are not training up their children in the way they should go. Rather, they are being very poor examples to them through their own use of expletives and other offensive words. It is no surprise then that some children eventually pick up the same bad habit. Who can blame them? It alarms me that some misguided parents actually find it cute when they first hear an expletive proceeding out of the mouth of their young child.

For other more responsible parents, however, having one of their young children let loose with a cuss word comes as a major shock and an embarrassment. This is particularly so when it happens in front of friends and acquaintances, and even in front of total strangers. While they may express embarrassment on the outside, at the same time, some parents realize in their hearts that they have no one to blame but themselves. If you are a parent who finds it unacceptable for your children to swear, it is at this point that you need to make a decision regarding what you are going to do about it, and how you will proceed. Given the prevailing attitudes of our modern day, it may not be as easy as you think.

The fact of the matter is that times have certainly changed since I was a child five decades ago. Being as my dad spent a lot of time away from home, hard at work raising money for our poor family of four boys and a girl, it was left to my mother to be the disciplinarian; and indeed she was. She in fact ran our home like an army. Unlike today, we children were each assigned various daily and weekly chores, and we were all expected to complete them if we wanted any weekend privileges such as staying up late at night, or a special outing.

My mother was likewise very strong when it came to the issue of discipline as well. Any kind of disrespect, dishonesty or sibling fighting was often rewarded with black pepper on the tongue, a bar of soap in the mouth, or being chastised with a leather belt. Time out in bed, or standing in the corner, were other means of discipline which were enforced regularly. While such methods of discipline would more than likely be viewed as child abuse according to modern societal standards, and might even result in a visit by someone from the Child Protective Services, the Bible offers a different picture in the following verses:

"Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Proverbs 19:18, KJV

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Proverbs 22:15, KJV

"Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
Proverbs 23:13-14, KJV

"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame . . . Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul."
Proverbs 29:15, 17, KJV

"The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother."
Proverbs 10:1, KJV

"A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke."
Proverbs 13:1, KJV

"A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother."
Proverbs 15:20, KJV

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Ephesians 6:1-4, KJV

"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged."
Colossians 3:20-21, KJV

"Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;"
1 Timothy 3:3-4, KJV

For my own part, I was a rather decent child. To my personal recollection, I was never disrespectful to my parents, and I definitely never cussed. Of course, I did get into trouble for some minor infractions of our household laws, but they were just the usual things that young children do, such as sneaking candy when I was not supposed to, or maybe lying about something in order to protect myself. Some time ago when I informed my now-grown daughter that I was a very good boy who never got into any heated arguments with my parents, she was rather incredulous. So, I told her to email my aging father, and simply ask him about it, which she did. In his reply, he informed her that I was in fact speaking the truth. Most children were simply a lot more respectful back then.

Regarding cussing, swearing, using expletives, or however you wish to refer to it, as I said, I never ever engaged in this practice as a child, or even as a teenager or a young adult for that matter. Even at a young age, I realized that to do so was wrong. During my early teenage years, I confess that I became somewhat self-righteous due to the fact that I held my tongue. But the truth is that I never cussed, drank, smoked or did drugs. Some people will no doubt view me as a typical goody-goody boy, which I suppose I was. As I explain in my mini-biography, I was also a very shy, introverted young boy and teenager.

What may surprise you is the fact that my parents were not practicing Christians. As I explain in "To Pray or Not to Pray", while they made sure that we children were baptized and confirmed in the local Roman Catholic Church, and also attended catechism, went to weekly confession -- it was still a weekly requirement back then in order to be able to partake of the communion on Sunday -- and attended church every week, neither of them were churchgoers themselves. While I strongly oppose much of Roman Catholic doctrine at this current time, I suppose that attending the RCC during my childhood, plus reading the "Good News for Modern Man" New Testament during my teenage years, did me some good. It certainly gave me a healthy reverence for the Lord, thus resulting in my chaste behavior as a child and as a teenager. In fact, it was during my teenage years that I first experienced the Lord's strong call to service in my life.

At any rate, it wasn't until many years later, when I was approaching my fortieth birthday, that I yielded myself to the spirit of the world, and began to engage in occasional cussing. At that particular point in my life, I was in a backslidden state. For reasons I won't get into here, I had lost my first love for the Lord, and I began to act just like a child of the world in some regards. I was working as a manager at a local business establishment at the time. Up until that point, I still addressed people with "Yes sir" and "Yes ma'am". However, my boss -- who was rather laid back -- apparently found my level of respect uncomfortable. Thus, she insisted that I refer to her by her first name, which in turn made me a bit uncomfortable; but I obliged.

The sad truth of the matter is that rubbing up against the crass, crude, obscene, insensitive spirit of the world -- as many Christians do -- can very easily affect us if we are not careful. If you are one who is still engaged in a job in the secular world, the battle becomes even more difficult. Sooner or later, the temptation arises to let a foul word slip here or there. Rather than adhere to the Apostle Paul's advice to not conform to the world, in a moment of weakness -- perhaps because we feel the need to fit in and not stick out like a sore thumb -- we adjust our behavior a bit in order to seem like one of the guys, or gals. Oh yes! Some women have quite the tongue on them as well. Consider this verse:

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
Romans 12:2, KJV

That is exactly what happened to me. I lowered my personal standard, and I conformed to the world in order to fit in, and to seem more "cool" to my fellow employees. When I first began working at this particular job, I had short hair and I sported a mustache. However, over the course of the years that I worked there, I let my hair grow to shoulder length -- so much so that I even wore a headband -- and I also let my beard grow out as well. Considering that I have always enjoyed wearing blue jeans and a blue jean jacket, because they are quite comfortable, I looked very much like a 1960's hippie, but without the drugs. One fellow referred to me as "Mr. Scuzzy" due to my bushy, bearded face. As I said, that was the environment there. It was just one very laid back place to work.

However, the part that bothers me the most when I look back at that time in my life, is that I also occasionally began to cuss. Shamefully, this included using the f-bomb on rare occasions whenever we employees would engage in the usual inter-employee bravado. It was not done in a mean sense; it was just the way that guys tend to demonstrate machismo to each other. I am sure that many of you who have done this very same thing will understand what I am talking about. I am not seeking to justify my actions and behavior by any means. In fact, I will tell you straight out that I do not like the individual that I became during those years. It was not the real me. It was not the child of God that the Lord crafted me to be.

In a word, because of my desire to fit in and be accepted by my work companions, I compromised. Rather than be a spiritual light to my boss and all of my coworkers, I chose to hide my light under a bushel because I was backslidden in my personal relationship with the Lord. Consider the following verses:

"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16, KJV

"No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light. The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness. Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness. If thy whole body therefore be full of light, having no part dark, the whole shall be full of light, as when the bright shining of a candle doth give thee light."
Luke 11:33-36, KJV

"And the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely: for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light."
Luke 16:8, KJV

"While ye have light, believe in the light, that ye may be the children of light. These things spake Jesus, and departed, and did hide himself from them."
John 12:36, KJV

"Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children . . . For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light . . . And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them."
Ephesians 5:1, 8, 11, KJV

"That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;"
Philippians 2:15, KJV

"But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief. Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness."
1 Thessalonians 5:4-5, KJV

To reiterate, clearly, I was by no means shining as a light in the world during that time in my life. I was acting just like every other child of the world. I was wasting my time doing things which were of no eternal importance. I knowingly allowed my vessel of flesh -- particularly my tongue -- to become a conduit for a manner of speech which is obviously not befitting for a child of the King. While I do not recall having ever used the "g-d" expletive, I did use the f-bomb on occasion, and probably the "sh" word, the "bull" word, and "damn" as well. Please understand that these events occurred twenty years ago, so my memory is not exactly crystal clear.

The thing is, I have never really liked the "f" word. I have always considered it to be a very offensive, ugly word. So it shames me to know and to admit that I used it on probably a few occasions. It reveals to what degree I had backslidden in my heart, so that I would even occasionally use a word which I actually detested, and still detest. That is what happens when we compromise with the world. It slowly begins to change us.

At this point, some of you are probably wondering if this means that I no longer swear, and that I am now the perfect, little "sinless Saint". I will be very honest with you. Over the past twenty years since I got my life back on track with the Lord, the times when I have used an expletive in an angry sense have been very rare. Someone has to really enrage me before I will let loose with a cuss word; and even then, it is usually said just once or twice. Furthermore, I do feel very bad afterwards, and I ask the Lord to forgive me for my anger and slip of the tongue. If you consider that I am very much a recluse who has limited contact with the children of the world, the fact that I cuss so little should be rather understandable. I truly endeavor to hold my tongue.

At the same time, I spend a lot of time alone in front of my computer. Sometimes when something goes wrong -- such as an unexpected power outage while I am working, or some kind of a computer error -- I will use the "sh" word. It is just a bad hangover from my past, which I know I should purge from my life completely. As I read the news online, I will also sometimes say to myself, "That is really bull_", or I might just use the abbreviations "BS" instead. If the Apostle Paul had no problem with using a word like "dung" to describe his former wasted life as a Pharisee, I am not so certain that the Lord becomes offended when I occasionally use the "bull" word to describe the nonsense that occurs in the world, or the lies that appear in the news, or which are so often told by national governments. Consider this verse:

"Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,"
Philippians 3:8, KJV

If you doubt that Paul is actually referring to excrement, then please consider that the word "dung" is derived from the Greek word "skubalon". This word is only used one time in the entire New Testament of the King James Version of the Holy Bible. Pronounced skoo'-bal-on, Thayer's Greek English Lexicon describes this word in the following manner:

----- Begin Quote -----

1) any refuse, as the excrement of animals, offscourings, rubbish, dregs
   1a) of things worthless and detestable

----- End Quote -----

The truth is that using a less forceful word to describe some of the nonsense that goes on in this evil world just does not seem as appropriate in my view. We need to call a spade, a spade, as they say. It may also interest you to know that a number of years ago, one of my longtime dear friends informed me that she was offended by my use of the word "crap". I thought about her reaction for a while, and then I wrote the series entitled "My God is a Shocker". It draws upon examples straight from the Bible to demonstrate that God is not particularly concerned with what men think of Him, or how He chooses to operate. You may want to read it. Incidentally, this dear Christian woman -- who will be turning ninety-five in January of 2013 -- is still my close friend and supporter; even after fifteen years of reading my oft times hard-to-swallow articles.

While out of love we should endeavor to remain sensitive to how our words and actions may affect or be viewed by other Christian brethren, at the same time, we likewise need to be very careful that we don't bow to political correctness, peer pressure and menpleasing, so that we tone down the message to the point that we are only preaching a politically correct, non-offensive, watered-down, socially-acceptable Gospel. This is precisely what occurs in so many spiritually-dead churches today. The Spirit has long departed from such places; and yet they just keep on preaching the same old lukewarm tripe. Sad to say, many nominal, lukewarm, misguided Christians continue to attend such churches -- and fill their donation plates as well -- because that is all that they have ever known.

In discussing how some of the more legalistic brethren were becoming offended by the spiritual liberty which we obtain through Christ, the Apostle Paul wrote the following in his Epistle to the Romans:

"Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way. I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean. But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died. Let not then your good be evil spoken of: For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men. Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence. It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak. Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth. And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin. We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me."
Romans 14:13-15:3, KJV

While some people -- particularly my critics -- may consider me proud, self-righteous and abrasive -- those are some of the nicer words that they use -- the truth of the matter is that over the years, following the Apostle Paul's advice in the previous verses, due to the sensitivities of some of my Christian brethren, I have actually toned down some of the things that I have said and written. One reason why it takes me so long to release an article, is because I invest a lot of time in carefully choosing my words, and I endeavor to be sensitive to the Lord's Spirit as I write. Sometimes I will write something, and then the Lord's Spirit will speak to my heart and basically say "You should take that part out. They won't be able to handle that. They will be overly offended by that. Say it this way instead."

No, it is not actually audible words or anything like that. It is just the impression that I receive. It is a barely perceptible inner voice; the Voice of the Spirit, I assume. So I will remove certain words, or else I will reword them so that they are not quite as blunt. As I mention in a few other articles, Jesus and the Apostles also withheld certain information when they felt that their listeners or readers were not yet able to bear them. Consider the following example verses:

"I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now."
John 16:12, KJV

And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able."
1 Corinthians 3:1-2, KJV

Of course, being as I operate an online writing ministry where anyone can access and read my work, I really do not have the luxury of being able to selectively address my reading audience. What is accessible to one, is likewise accessible to all. That being the case, I have a choice. Either I preach the full truth of the Gospel -- including the offensive parts -- and let the chips fall where they may, or else I allow weaker brethren to affect my writing, and end up preaching a compromised message. My choice is found in the following short verse:

"Quench not the Spirit."
1 Thessalonians 5:19, KJV

So, while we should endeavor to be mindful of those people who may be sensitive to certain things, at the same time, we also need to recognize that no matter how softly, and how diplomatically we endeavor to tread as we preach the Gospel and the truth of God's Word, there are always going to be some people who will be offended by it. Why is this? Because such persons simply do not belong to the Lord, and they are not the Children of Light. They do not possess the Spirit of the Lord. Therefore, they cannot understand the things of the Spirit of God. They are in fact the children of darkness, the children of rebellion, and the children of disobedience. They are the spiritually-blind and rebellious children of the world who possess the spirit of the world, which is the spirit of Satan, because he is the false god of this present world. Consider the following verses:

"And the disciples came, and said unto him, Why speakest thou unto them in parables? He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given. For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath. Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand. And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive: For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them. But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear."
Matthew 13:10-16, KJV

"Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch."
Matthew 15:14, KJV

"Woe unto you, ye blind guides, which say, Whosoever shall swear by the temple, it is nothing; but whosoever shall swear by the gold of the temple, he is a debtor! . . . Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel."
Matthew 23:16, 24, KJV

"And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other."
Mark 3:5, KJV

"And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God."
John 3:19-21, KJV

"Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it . . . He that is of God heareth God's words: ye therefore hear them not, because ye are not of God."
John 8:44, 47, KJV

"And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see; and that they which see might be made blind. And some of the Pharisees which were with him heard these words, and said unto him, Are we blind also? Jesus said unto them, If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin remaineth."
John 9:39-41, KJV

"(According as it is written, God hath given them the spirit of slumber, eyes that they should not see, and ears that they should not hear;) unto this day . . . For I would not, brethren, that ye should be ignorant of this mystery, lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that blindness in part is happened to Israel, until the fulness of the Gentiles be come in."
Romans 11:8, 25, KJV

Please go to part two for the continuation of this series.

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